New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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