My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
