with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
