i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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