What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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