my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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