Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
