yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
