You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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