I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
