tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
