Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
