she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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