I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
