I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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