i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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