Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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