i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
ok first of all what the fuck
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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