toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Still dying that you shit outside
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
