everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
