Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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