If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
