I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
