with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
