We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
