Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
