M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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