This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
