i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
