If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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