There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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