Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
