i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
