im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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