I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
