The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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