When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
