i'm lost and i look like a hooker
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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