I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
