I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
