believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
