found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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