Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
