I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I just sharted jello shots
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