So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
