It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
