My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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