I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
