I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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