two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
