worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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