Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
