i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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